Eliza rolled onto her side, her arm fell across Rafe’s chest that felt like summer to her. Their post-lovemaking felt like summer, she felt moist and sultry beside him. His body was so familiar to her, every touch felt like lovemaking so that when they did make love it was on another level. He grabbed her hand with a neediness that she had never felt from him before. It broke her heart on so many levels, to feel the emotion in his touch. When he entered her, it felt like he wanted to stay and never leave.
But she was not so sure that she wanted him to stay.
She rolled onto her side and out of the bed, wanting to be alone. Just for a moment. The tiles of the bathroom floor felt like cubes of ice beneath the soles of her feet. The mirror greeted her with her fresh, roughly fucked countenance and hair. Her reflection disappeared when she sat on the toilet to pee, and she did not look back at the mirror when she stood back up.
When she got back into the bed, Rafe wrapped his arms about her. Eliza settled into his embrace. She was just about to fall asleep, when his phone buzzed. Her heavy eyes lifted, and she reached for it.
She typed in Rafe’s password which was “allies,” since using her name would be too easy for someone to guess.
Are you with her?
Eliza read the text, before she typed.
This afternoon was a mistake, everything was a mistake Rafe. You need to stay with her…
Eliza put the phone back down.
Everything was bringing them back together, but she did not know if she wanted it. The feeling of summer in an air-conditioned hotel room from the intensity of their lovemaking. She was not sure that she wanted the fire that they always were together.
Even with Sandrine conceding for a second time.
She remembered the first time that Sandrine conceded. Rafe told her he would love Sandrine forever, the same way he would never stop loving her.
“The difference is, ” he told her that summer. “is that I want to be married to you eventually.”
The gleam of her engagement ring in her periphery vision, made her pick it up. Rafe had said that he wanted to marry her years before he proposed to her…
…and then he eventually proposed to her. The proof was sparkling between her fingers.
Usually when they made love, they got back together. She never expected to make love with him, get filled with all the summery feelings that he left her with and not know if they were going to get back together again.
If she wanted to be back together again.
Somewhere after those thoughts, she fell asleep and woke up shivering. Suddenly it was winter, she was freezing cold, even in Rafe’s embrace. He was cold and she was still trying to assess if he was breathing, because his body felt so cold. He did not snore, but his soft breath changed the rhythm of her heartbeat and she closed her eyes.
Morning would have the answer as to which season she wanted to live in.
More summer here: