wicked wednesday

Wicked Wednesday #187 — Now!!!

Eliza would remember the reflection of the lantern, when he turned her on the staircase and arched her back like something out off of an old Hollywood movie. She would remember when they almost kissed, their faces close together and the aura of his breath making her quiver.

She had quivered when she saw Oscar in the restaurant. They had been to that restaurant before. She was not there because she wanted to see him, but because she wanted sushi. That was at least the narrative that she told herself.

It was not unlike the first time that they met. He was at the bar, sipping a drink. Eliza assumed whiskey because she knew that he liked that. She stood in front of him, and watched his breath move his body gently. Then increase with her proximity. Everything was fine with Rafe, she was in a much better place than when she had met Oscar that night. But she was alone, and he was alone. The way he looked at her, as his breath deepened and she stopped breathing all together.

She wanted him.


They used to go to that restaurant, because there was a hotel nearby that her company had an account with. Neither one of them was inhibited about renting a decadent room for the afternoon, in which to make love like it was their job.

His knees caressed the front of her body when she got closer to him. She looked at him, her heart light. She had not seen Oscar alone since before she and Rafe got back together.

She moved her lips to say something, and Oscar put his fingers to them. Eliza was not sure what inanity she was going to release from her mouth, but as soon as he touched it she knew she wanted him right then and there.

Oscar did not get his sushi, as he tilted her precariously over the winding staircase. She saw the reflection of the lantern upside down as he pressed his torso to hers.

Eliza swore that she saw a conspiratorial smile on the face of the hotel clerk, who she knew recognized them when they arrived.

Now, she kept thinking, now. Finally now they were going to be together, and it was all that filled her heart and mind.

“You did not get your food,” Eliza smiled, looking up at him. “You left your order there, and now we are never going to be able to go back there…”
Oscar’s lips pressed against hers on a slant. He almost kissed her on the staircase, but now he kissed her for real.

It was then that Eliza realized that Rafe had not meant to hurt her when he had gotten involved with Sandrine without telling her. Sometimes you wanted someone—now—and there was no  time to ask if that was okay with your partner. You needed—she needed to be with Oscar…


She stepped out of the puddle of her dress on the floor, Oscar pressed his hands over her naked curves. He had established that they were not going to talk—yet—but she knew that he wanted to know if she had gone to work without any underwear at all.

But he did not say anything to her, as his hands pressed her buttocks and she rubbed herself against the front of him like a kitten. Eliza rubbed against him more provocatively, until he did slapped her backside over and over. She wanted to look in the mirror to see the redness, instead she closed her eyes and all she could see was the lantern reflected in the window as they left the restaurant where he left his food and decided it was time for dessert.


More Wicked Wednesday–now–here!


lantern’s reflection photo by f dot leonora

Wicked Wednesday #186 — Summarize

“So to summarize,” Carla cornered Margaux in a corner of the party. “You met Rafe Stewart at your sister’s dinner party with his fiancee?”

“Yes,” Margaux said, her body still filled with the excitement of seeing him. She trembled just talking about him. “How do you know him?”
Carla stared at her.

“Do you know why he left the party?”

Margaux shook her head, as Carla beckoned her closer.

“Because Marcus?” Carla mouthed. “and him are kind of enemies.”


“Because Marcus did not fuck Eliza, and because Rafe did fuck Sandrine—who is married to Marcus.”

“Rafe and Eliza have an open marriage?” Margaux questioned.

Carla nodded.

“You like Rafe, don’t you? Be careful. He and Eliza have been through hell and back, but they are solid. He might get involved with you, but you will never be anything more than a sideshow to Eliza. Unless you are not looking for anything serious…”

Margaux felt woozy, as she finished her drink.

“I just said hi to him, there is no need for a warning Carla.”
“Hey, I am just looking out for you. Rafe can be damned charming. He can get a lot of women  to drop their pants just from looking at him. You’re beautiful, if you just want a good time have it…but if you want more, be careful.”
Margaux did not go right away, but she did go outside of the house to get fresh air and because she felt her heart in her throat. She put her hand on her chest, and felt like she was in an old black and white movie from one of the studios.

One that Myrna Loy might have been in even.

Margaux turned around as if she felt someone looking at her.


She watched him, surprised he was there and not. It was like a part of her knew he would be there, but she was pleasantly surprised as well.

“I was thinking about going back in. For you…” he began.


When he mimicked her, she felt moved and discouraged. He made her feel so many contradictions. She wrapped her arms tight about herself, as he came closer to her.

“I just didn’t want it to seem like I left because I saw you…” Rafe continued.

“I know you didn’t—I knew it wasn’t me…”

Rafe studied her.

“You talked to Marcus…”
“No, Carla…”

Rafe frowned.

“Oh her…”

“She told me…”


Margaux fell mute.

“Just tell me Margaux, what did Carla tell you about me?”

“She told me to be careful…”
Rafe looked at her, and she unfolded her arms.


“Because you are engaged to Eliza, who I know is beautiful and lovely and intelligent and…
“You are all of those things as well. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I saw you the last time. I was not expecting to see you again, and you have caused me a lot of trouble…”

Margaux stared at him, pointed at herself.


Rafe leaned against the house.

“Eliza and I have an open relationship. We just broke up because I did not tell her about a woman I got involved with, and I cannot live without Eliza…I do not know how I am going to tell her that I need to get to know another woman better. But I need to get to know you better Margaux.”
He took her hand and she trembled, as he lifted it to his lips. Margaux quivered under his kiss, as he looked into her eyes. “I do not have to go back in because I found you…”

He summarized her thoughts.


More summaries here:


myrna loy and clark gable via wikipedia

Wicked Wednesday #185 — Ode to Your Favorite Sex Toy

“I can never repay you for all you have done for me,” Margaux said to Carla, as they dressed in the tiny bathroom that could barely fit them both.

They had been closer to each other during the photo shoot. Carla was doing a photo shoot for a sex toy company’s website and once she had introduced them to Margaux, she was part of the shoot as well. The theme was ode to my favorite sex toy, and Margaux had never seen the toy in question before even in Paris.

“Oooh, I have them in several colors!” Carla had grinned, running her hand over the gold one. “And believe me the gold standard is the best…”

Margaux’s gold toy fell out of her purse in the bathroom. She and Carla almost collapsed in giggles, as they both clamored to pick up the gold toy that she was gifted after the shoot.

When they collected themselves, no one would have guessed that they had had such meager accommodations to get prepared in—they both looked like the gold standard in cocktail attire. Margaux especially, dressed literally in a gold cocktail dress and gold pumps.

They climbed into a cab, that was practically right out of the door when they left. In equally rapid fashion, Margaux stood in front of a huge television star.

“Marcus, this is Margaux.” Carla said in introduction.

“Margaux,” Marcus said, taking her hand. Kissing it. “Carla told me all about you, and showed me some of your work in Paris. We would love to audition you for an upcoming role on the show.”

Margaux was afraid that she was going to collapse. So much was happening so fast. It was almost too much. She made small talk with Marcus, and then she saw Rafe putting on his coat.

He paused when he made eye contact with her.

“Hey Carla, I see someone I know…”


Carla’s voice trailed behind her as she walked through the crowd, a little tipsy from expensive wine and itty bitty hors d’ oeuvres. She grabbed an hors d’oeuvre topped with a piece of rare meat on her way to where Rafe stood and shoved it into her mouth, and then paused in front of Rafe.

“I almost missed you…” she said, swallowing.

Rafe studied her in that way that he did that let her know that he thought she was beautiful, but most men did that.

“Yeah, I was just here for a minute. But I saw you…” He answered.

“Hi,” she whispered shyly.

Rafe looked at her.

“It’s good to see you Margaux. I hope New York is everything you want it to be. More.”

“It has been, I just met somebody who wants to audition me…”

“I have no doubt…I’ll see you at the next dinner, and I will be more careful with the gravy…”
They looked at each other for a long moment. Margaux looked after him after he left her, and she waved when he turned back.

“How do you know Rafe Stewart?”

Margaux turned to look at Carla.

“You know Rafe?”

Carla smiled at her.

“Oh honey, do I ever!”

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boulevard de clichy via wikipedia

Wicked Wednesday #184 — Boundaries

“Eliza and Rafe are a lovely couple, aren’t they?”
Margaux sipped her tea with a soft smile as she looked at her sister, then feared that her cup went down with more of a thump than she had meant it to.“I knew it!” Laure said, eyeing her sister with righteous glee and pounding the table. I saw how you were looking at Rafe, and how he was looking at you…”
“Stop it Laure! I was not looking at anybody like anything! Particularly not a married man!”

“He’s not married…”

“Engaged is basically married, and I want no part of that…”

Margaux got up, and walked out onto the balcony. She hoped that her sister would not follow her because she wanted a moment to herself, to look out at New York City which was not strange to her but was not home like Paris was. 

It had been easy for her to forget about Eliza and Rafe when she saw them the first time, but the second time it was harder for her because she was very attracted to Rafe. And with the invisible leash that Eliza had on him, Margaux knew it was best to keep away from him. 

But he spilled gravy on her, and and tried to make it as little of a deal as she could. She licked it off of her legs as comic relief, but she realized quickly it had not come off that way. When Margaux excused herself to the bathroom, she found herself aroused by the idea that Rafe had spilled warm gravy all over her legs. Her mind wandered quickly in ways she did not want it to, so she focused on cleaning up the gravy spill to center herself.

The rest of the evening went well, and without incident. Margaux had shaken Rafe from her thoughts, when Laure made her spot-on observation. Laure and her were almost like twins, they were so in tune with each other. It made her happy to see Laure in New York happy, and in her element.

Moving to New York was invigorating for her, or it would be. She had already made some contacts, and was finding work even outside of being a fetish model. At one of her shoots, she was in the background for an upcoming starlet’s magazine spread who also had a retro look to her. After the shoot they had had coffee together, and now they were becoming something of friends.

“I could introduce you to Marcus,” Carla said casually, since she was on first name terms with the very sexy actor of a show that Margaux was now caught up on since she was in the States. “You are beautiful, he will love you!”

“Sure!” she had said to Carla, who she was going to see later that day. 

Margaux knew she was classically beautiful, she was not ashamed of that. Rafe had looked at her like most men look at her, recognizing she was beautiful but his invisible leash reined him in. Margaux knew that she had to put her own invisible leash on.

She was not about to have another tragic affair, in her so far theatrical love life…

She had to have boundaries…

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francesca woodman via google images

Wicked Wednesday #183 — Tentacle Porn

It was not until Eliza was invited to another dinner at Martin and Laure’s house that she thought about Margaux—because she was still there. Eliza thought that she had returned to Paris, so she was really startled to see Margaux at the house.

“Hello,” Margaux said, embracing her and kissing her on both of her cheeks.

Eliza returned her kisses, and smiled at her. Margaux stepped in closer so she could hug Rafe, and Eliza held his hand tighter while they kissed.

At the table, they ended up sitting next to Margaux—well Rafe sat next to her. The theme for this dinner was not as sensual as the last one, but heavy on the elegance with waitstaff with slicked back hair and waistcoats. Dinner was beef again with a decadent wine gravy, that Eliza wished to dab the excess on her plate up with her fingers. She turned to looked over at Rafe, when she heard a loud crash.

“I am so sorry,” Rafe said to Margaux, who slowly rose from her seat to reveal the savory gravy all over her bare legs. She wiped her legs with napkins that were handed to her.

“I am so sorry,” Rafe repeated, covering his mouth and staring at her as she wiped up.

“It is not a big deal cheri,” she smiled, dabbing him with a gravy-soiled napkin. “Not a big deal at all, it is so savory…I could lick it off…” She dabbed some off of her leg, and licked it in Rafe’s face.

Eliza coughed, and stood up to attend Margaux—and to get between her and Rafe.

“Do you need any help?” Eliza questioned her softly.

Margaux licked more gravy off of her shapely legs, and licked it. Rafe stared at her, and Eliza was not sure he was breathing.

Non,” Margaux said to her. “I will be right back…”


Hours later, most of the dinner guests had left, but Eliza and Rafe were still there.

“I am so sorry about the gravy,” Rafe said to Margaux again, and Eliza could smell the wine on his breath.

“Oh, I have definitely had worse on me!” Margaux grinned sheepishly.

“You really have!” Laure said, looking at her sister with a knowing look.

“What, you sisters are keeping secrets? You have to share everything with your guests!” Rafe demanded, and Eliza downed her wine and reached for the bottle before someone could pour it for her.

“Well in Paris, and now here in New York,” Margaux looked at Laure, before she continued. “I work as a fetish model.”

“Like Bettie Page?” Rafe asked.

“Yes, exactly,” Margaux nodded, smiled and added shyly. “And since people are always saying I resemble Myrna Loy…”

“You do,” Eliza said, taking another sip of wine and not wanting to be forgotten. Not wanting anyone to forget that she was sitting next to her fiancé.

“Yes, so I get a lot of vintage and retro jobs…” Margaux continued. “But I did do some tentacle porny stuff. I was in vintage underwear, and this realistic looking tentacle thing was placed on me. It was creepy! But at least it was a photo still, and none of it went inside me, you know?”

“She is like Bettie Page to us?” Laure announced. “In our family, she is like our French Bettie Page. She does a lot of fetish stuff that looks like stuff Bettie Page would do. And some of the older pulp stuff too. She’s beautiful so…” Laure ran her hands through her sister’s hair. “But we tease her about it, I ask Martin how it feels have married the not-so sexy sister!”

“And I do not answer!” Martin burst out laughing.

“Smart man!” Rafe laughed, and the men looked at each other conspiratorially.

Eliza laughed, but she did not find anything funny really.

“We should have taken pictures of you with gravy on you!” Laure declared. “You even managed to make a gravy spill sexy—licking it off! It must be someone’s fetish after all!”

“I really am sorry,” Eliza heard Rafe whisper to Margaux again.

“I told you cheri, it was nothing. It was not tentacles after all…It was nothing…”

“Okay,” Rafe said, looking at her nodding.

But Eliza wondered if it was really nothing, as she put her wine glass down.

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Bettie Page via wikimedia commons


Wicked Wednesday #182 — Food and Sex

Even though she had just fucked Rafe, Eliza could not help but feel overwhelmed by the scene at the dinner party. Her boss’s wife was big on creating practically edible stages for these events. Laure had transformed their penthouse into a vintage bál. Everyone was handed a mask for their use if they wanted at the door, and everything was black and gold. Eliza’s mask matched Laure’s, and was framed in black and gold lace. Eliza had been at the company longer than most of the other staff, and knew Laure before she had married her boss. There was special camaraderie between them because of it.

All of the servers wore masks, and even so it was hard not to note that every single one of them was remarkably attractive. Their dark silhouettes, seductively passed around hors d’oeuvres so savory they burst like an orgasm in her mouth. Eliza dipped a piece of artisan bread into a truffle-infused fondue, and offered it to Rafe. He sucked the tips of her fingers into his mouth along with the bread, and the warmth of his mouth ran through her body.

But Eliza felt cold as a woman who was not wearing a mask walked over to her and Rafe. The woman was literally stunning. Her eyes shined and she wore black and gold, but it was clear that she was not one of the servers. There was something about her movement.

“Eliza?” she said tentatively.

Eliza stared at the woman wondering if she knew her, because her face reminded of her of someone she had seen before. Her head cocked to one side, Eliza studied the woman discreetly and then it occurred to her that the woman looked like the legendary film actress Myrna Loy.

“I am Margaux, Laure’s sister.”

“Nice to meet you,” Eliza said, extending her hand to shake Margaux’s. That same hand withdrew slowly from their handshake, and caressed Rafe’s arm slowly. Possessively. “This is my fiancé Rafe Stewart.”

“Nice to meet you,” Laure’s Myrna lookalike sister said to Rafe.

Eliza felt nauseous.

“I am going to go find the bathroom,” Eliza said to Rafe, kissing him lingeringly. They had just had sex, and she still felt close to him and he held her close even after she pulled away from him.

Several attractive silhouettes in black and gold directed her to the bathroom. Inside of the bathroom was dim, lit by black candles and there was black soap. Eliza lingered a bit with the fragrant black soap. She could still taste the combination of truffle fondue and Rafe’s kiss on her lips, and embraced her hunger for sex and food.

When she walked out of the bathroom, the Myrna lookalike was still with Rafe. Rafe smiled at her, and was holding a glass edged in black and gold filled with amber fluid. He sipped it leisurely, Eliza stood next to him and kissed him again. He kissed her this time with more passion than he had the first time. She was not sure if that was because he was into it, or if he was showing off for Margaux.

Dinner was a long leisurely affair. Her boss Martin was obviously happy to let his wife show off, and he looked borderline turned on the more the night went on.

Laure and Margaux sat close together holding hands. Margaux was visiting from Paris, and her accent made Eliza miss Paris. For a moment, she reminded Eliza of a combination of Severine and Sandrine. Even though she wanted to not feel like this, it was hard not to. If Rafe liked Margaux, and he asked her if…They had not talked about being with anyone else since they had gotten back together, but she was not sure how long that would last. And Margaux spoke French and looked like Myrna Loy! She ate food slowly like she was having sex with it, slow and luxuriously.

“She looks like Myrna Loy,” Eliza whispered to Rafe, feeding him more food. Everything he ate was what she fed him. She studied his gaze on Margaux.

“Uncanny isn’t babe? To be in this environment, with a Myrna Loy lookalike?” Rafe turned and looked at her.

Eliza kissed him with all she had, because he was hers. She licked the blood from the bit of rare steak that she had fed him, as she kissed him like a vampire.

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Myrna Loy via wikipedia


Wicked Wednesday #181- Boss’s Dinner

Eliza looked perfect, absolutely perfect. She sat at her vanity table in just her lace underthings. Rafe loved to slip a secret look at her when she was getting ready for dinners like the one her boss was having tonight. There was international staff in town, and that meant that they wanted to wine and dine them. The entire week had been like that, but this last dinner was with the invite for significant others.

And he was hers.

Rafe sat on the bed in his undershirt and tuxedo pants, he was clean-shaven only because of tonight. Otherwise he would have had a bit of a scruff like he usually did, which Eliza liked. But even though she worked at a creative firm, it was terribly corporate. Even his firm was not that corporate.

Eliza caught him looking at her, he did not care. It was their ritual to get caught looking at each other, getting ready for a night out. In the beginning, when they were first together, they could not just look. They were borderline late to everything, because they could not keep their hands off of each other.

She still was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met, and he loved her because he did not know how to do anything else if it was not to love her.

He recognized early on that they fit. Eliza was very innocent when they met. She was wild, and he was used to living like a little man all of his life with his well-off family. His parents had not loved her at first, because Sandrine looked more sophisticated and she was French. He had had an animal desire for Sandrine that after their recent dalliance, would never fade but he would keep it in check.

Eliza loved him, she loved him with all of the love she had regardless of what he did. She always wanted to understand why. It hurt him that he had taken her for granted, and that was why she had ended up with Oscar. He would always be attracted to Sandrine, but he had no desire to be with her forever. But he knew that Eliza loved Oscar, and it hurt him. It hurt him that she had fallen in love with another man.

Eliza blew kisses at him, and he caught them. He watched her spritz perfume on her pulse points, it was like a ceremony with her. Behind her ears, the hollow of her throat, between her breasts, the small of her back and behind her knees. When she bent to spritz her knees, he watched the delicate way her body curved. He walked over to her, and traced his finger along her spine.

“No!” She smiled. “No, we are running late—no!”

The fresh scent of her perfume, and the look in her eyes that let him know. She thrust her breasts forward, and pointed the perfume bottle at him like a weapon.

“I will spritz you, and you will smell like…”

“…like you.” He finished.

Eliza put the petal-shaped bottle down, and he stood close to her.

They were going to be late for her boss’s dinner…


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perfume bottles via vetiveraromatics.com

Wicked Wednesday #180 — Virgin(ity)

Eliza felt as vulnerable as she had felt when she was freshly sleeping with Rafe. She was more vulnerable than when she had been a virgin, because they shared things that she had never shared with anyone else. And when they were new lovers, Sandrine had had an episode like this. When he told her that he was going to be exclusive with her, Sandrine had thrown a fit like this.

Because she did not want to let go.

Eliza was unmoved by the deja vu of the situation. She knew that Rafe would not have called her there to have a scene with Sandrine.

A small smile filled her face. In her heart of hearts, Eliza believed that she and Rafe were solid this time.

At least she really wanted to believe they were and even though her stomach churned, she wanted to believe it.

She went over to him.

“Sandrine, I promise I know it hurts, but you have to let him go. You have to let him go…he is mine,” Eliza remembered saying to Sandrine so many years ago, when she was the one that was chosen.

Sandrine turned to stare at her at that time, and they mirrored each other’s youth and being in love with Rafe .

Now, Sandrine turned as if she felt her standing close to her. She stared at Eliza as if she was seeing her for the first time. They had not been near each other since the affair started, since she had broken the engagement…since they had reunited…

Sandrine stared through her, and Eliza did not blink.

Rafe had been hers forever, their  marriage was a formality. He was hers. Sandrine had to understand that. This time Eliza was okay if they were not friends, because Sandrine needed to know he was hers.

Sandrine dug her nails into Rafe’s bare skin before she walked away. Eliza watched her, and noticed a pressed rose on the stairs leading to the restaurant.

Rafe stared at Eliza, shoved his hands in his pockets.

Eliza grabbed his upper arms, pressed her cheek to his chest and clung to him the way that Sandrine had. The desperation she felt was like that of a young virgin about to be taken for the first time. She needed him close, she did not want to know what had just happened.

She looked up at him, and he stared down at her. He pulled her close with one arm, and Eliza pressed her face to the warmth of his chest.

Because there did not need to be words. She did not want to talk about it anymore, she wanted to trust him. They were not going to be able to exist without trust and it was hard as hell for her, but she was going to trust him.

He kissed her throbbing temple, and she looked down fixing her gaze on the pressed rose.

There did not need to be words in his arms.

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pressed rose photo by f dot leonora

Wicked Wednesday #179 — Happy Place

He and Eliza were in a happy place, Rafe could still smell her on his skin. He had just held her face, and kissed her thoroughly before he left her. This time, he did not make a mistake, and let her know that he was going to see Severine.

“That was the reason why I left before,” Eliza had said, holding onto his collar as she kissed his neck and throat. “Not because you were with Sandrine, because we opened us…but because you did not tell me…”

Rafe closed his eyes, and kissed Eliza’s forehead in his memory again. Severine was in New York, and if nothing else she was still a friend, and he wanted to see her. He was going to tell her that things were going well with Eliza.

He had not been with another woman recently, except for Fiona. It was the three of them a lot. Fiona told him that she was very happy that he and Eliza had made amends.

“You seem stronger than ever, more in love than ever,” Fiona said to him, when Eliza was out of earshot. “Don’t forget what shit you looked like without her.”

Tugging on his coat, Rafe noted he was blocks away from the cafe where he was meeting Severine.

When he saw her.

Sandrine looked at him like he had stabbed her in the heart. Her eyes were cold, nothing like the warm brown he had known of them. The warm brown that burned like a dark flame when they made love. The abyss that he looked at now froze him in place.

She walked toward him, and then away.


He reached for her, but her arm flailed out at him. Her manicured nails snagged on his jacket, and broke his skin where it was bare. Rafe did not even register the bite of her nails into his flesh. It was the look on her face.

“I know everything that is going on Rafe. I know that you and Eliza are very happy, and that everything else was just a big joke for you!”


He grabbed her forearm, as she went to hit him again. In her fury, she broke free from his light hold and she set on him like a wildcat. She clawed at him wherever she could, Rafe was so startled that he remained still until she retreated. Her eyes were red, she looked like a monster. But the anguish on her face, the way that her eyes had softened with her pain…she pounded her fists on his chest exhaustedly, until he held her to him.

He pressed his chin on top of her head, and held her close to him. Her body heaved with tears, that he had not seen or felt from her since she was younger and they were together.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, Sandrine.”

She heaved all the more, and all he could do was hold her. He was scared and guilty, as he rocked her softly. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, he saw Severine’s face pressed to the window of the cafe. He could not read her face, but he could read Eliza’s.

Rafe had told Eliza where he was meeting Severine, and now she looked at him with Sandrine in his arms.

Even with Sandrine’s bloodied fingers, the look in Eliza’s eyes made Sandrine’s earlier look warm.

Severine walked out of the cafe, and stood next to Eliza.

Rafe was still, except for Sandrine heaving like a heartbeat.

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bloodied fingers via wikipedia

Wicked Wednesday #177 — Two

It was the two of them in the bathroom. Eliza sat on the toilet with her panties up, and Rafe sat on the floor at her knees. His head was on her thigh, and she clutched his hair, and closed her eyes looking at the unopened pregnancy test.
She was nervous about telling him that she could be pregnant. They had always talked lightly and happily about having kids someday, but not that day. She was nervous would he be ready— she was not ready! Would he wonder if the baby was his since they had opened their relationship? It was open, but the only man that she had actually had sex with was him after she thought they were not going to be together anymore.
But it was Rafe at her feet, caressing her and letting her know he was there for her. Rafe was there when as she went to go open the pregnancy kit, and felt the unmistakable rush of her period start between her legs.
She was not pregnant, and right now she was very relieved because she was not ready to be a mother. Eliza thought of all of the things her mother had done for her, and knew she was not ready for that commitment just yet. Especially not when she had just spent her entire brunch first being afraid she was pregnant, and trying to act like she was not affected at all by seeing Oscar and Polly. She had dreaded encountering them at the auction house, but knew that she had to show face in front of Rafe and Fiona.
That was probably what made her sick.
Everything with Oscar was so intense, the way they met, falling in love with each other, him letting her go and almost making love with him despite it all after…She wandered around Paris after Shanghai to get over him. After everything it was Rafe who came to Paris for her. It was Rafe again when she was staying in the hotel after she ended it with him, and had believed that if she had left that she would not be back.
But he always came back for her, he always came looking for her. In the very beginning when they were first together and she wanted to run from him, she literally ran from him into the woods. Feeling like Sylvia Plath’s poem for her poet husband, Ted Hughes entitled “Pursuit,” she ran breathing hoarsely away from him deep into the woods.
He caught her.
“I got you, I will never let you go gypsy,” he kissed her forehead.
He used to call her a gypsy when they first got together.
Getting on his knees, he kissed her knees, and then her stomach.
“I love you,” she breathed heavily. Rafe continued to kiss her belly, her empty belly and for a moment she wished she was pregnant.
“It is still the two of us gypsy, the two of us like I always promised it would be…if it is meant to be more it will be someday…”
Eliza was breathless when he said that to her because he had not called her that in a long time, it was if they were having the same memories. She looked down at his head as he continued to kiss her now trembling knees, trembling with the depth of her emotions for him.
The two of them were real.

woman dressed in gypsy costume via wikipedia

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