Maybe because she was in a hotel room alone in New York was why…Eliza had been alone in hotels in Shanghai and Paris, and not felt like this. But being alone even in this plush boutique hotel room, reminded her of being alone in the hospital after the car accident. For the most part, she was never really alone after the accident. Most of her nights in the hospital and during her short-term disability leave, Rafe was with her. She had been very lucky to not have been more injured than she was, as it was she had been more injured than Rafe.
Things had been hard. The first time she saw her bruised face in the mirror, she had cried. She was so badly bruised, and had broken bones that had broken through her skin. Oscar had kissed her bruised hand, and she had fallen in love with him even more at that moment.
Love, she laughed bitterly as warm, salty tears covered her tongue.
She couldn’t sleep. She stood in the middle of the hotel room, in her dress that was mostly unbuttoned. Her breasts were bare, her nipples hard as she alternately flicked them. She was not aroused, she touched them like a lullaby to soothe herself.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, she let her fingers slip under the lace of her thigh highs. It was damn late, but she called Marcus all the same. He had led her down this rabbit hole, he should support her as she moved through it.
She wondered how accidentally she had really called the wrong number, as she heard Oscar’s lucid voice.
“I am sorry, I meant to…”
“Are you okay?”
Her eyes flooded with gold tears, gold reflecting the gold-colored room that she was in.
“Why do you care about me?”
There was silence.
“Why do you care?” she repeated. “I mean why do you still treat me like we are still together?”
She closed her eyes. This was the hotel where she had met Oscar when she was unsettled about her engagement to Rafe. Now that she had broken things off with Rafe, talking to Oscar felt like dejá-vü.
Like he should be there with her, but she knew that they were over.
“Where are you?”
“Oscar, I know you are with Polly now. I don’t want to–”
“Where are you?”
“Where we first met…”
“At the bar?”
“No, I am upstairs in one of the rooms.”
“I will meet you at the bar. Go wait for me.”
Eliza obediently sat at the bar waiting for him. She did not look as well put together as she had the first time he met her. He had kissed her bruised hands and bruised face in the hospitalq, she did not feel she had to knock herself out for him. Her hair was down about her shoulders, and all she had done was button up her dress. She had not put her bra back on, so her breasts jiggled as she tugged on the lace of her thigh highs to pull them up. Eliza felt them run, as she looked up and saw Oscar.
He sat on the stool beside her.
“You did not have to come…” she started.
“You act like I just stopped loving you, you act like nothing ever happened between us. I care about you Eliza. I will always care about you, and I know something is very wrong…”
“I left Rafe, I broke off the engagement. I am staying here.”
Oscar stared at her like she was speaking another language while she talked.
She stopped talking.
“And you are sure that you do not want to marry him?”
“He has made it very hard for me to stay, I can’t just forgive him this time. I changed for him you know? I lost you because of him, if I had met you and I was not with him…”
Oscar put his hand on her thigh, and she put her hand over his.
“This is like some crazy kind of dejá-vü. But we are not going to end up in bed, because you are with Polly…”
Eliza looked down at his hand on her thigh, she watched it slip just under the lace band of her thigh high because she had not buttoned her dress all the way. When she looked up at him, his hand was higher up on her thigh.
Their kiss was so sudden, her teeth hit his because she was surprised. She moaned low in pleasure, but the moan had the sound of pain. He pulled away from her mouth, and looked at her.
“I just needed once more to do that, just once more. So I can forget…”
“But now I remember…” Eliza said inside another kiss, her eyes filled with amber tears mirroring the amber bottles at the bar.
This was my soundtrack while writing this post: http://youtu.be/zMBTvuUlm98
More Wicked Wednesday here:
bar photograph with amelie filter by f dot leonora