Eliza was on her stomach on Oscar’s bed. She could smell him on the sheets, in the room.
That he was there, that he had been in the hotel room. Mindlessly she kissed the mattress, ran her fingers over the sheet like it was the path of Oscar’s chest hair. Balling the sheet in her first, she remembered herself.
It was wrong for her to be upset that he was with someone else, that she expected Shanghai to be their place because it had been so magical for them when they were there before. Even with Fiona in the middle of her crisis…
Fiona had not been surprised that she was going to Shanghai, nor was Rafe. Oscar was the reason that she had agreed to open their relationship in the first place, because she could not put away what she felt for him. Other things had happened since then. Marcus…she was not sure about that, but it was something she was not thinking about when she opened her relationship up. She was thinking about Oscar, why she had come to Shanghai now.
It had never occurred to her that Oscar would be with someone else. He was with someone else and she was lying on his bed in his hotel room alone, waiting for him.
On her back, her fingers ran absently over her own chest. Her fingers caressing her breasts, their softness soothing to her while she waited.
There was nothing else she could do.
The beep of him coming into the room, made her slip her hand out of her blouse where she had been fully caressing her own breast imagining it was Oscar doing it.
He stood at the foot of the bed and looked down at her.
“I feel awkward, like I should say sorry. But there is nothing for me to be sorry about,” he sais
Eliza let her feet touch the ground.
“I am sorry, I can leave Oscar–”
Oscar put his hands on her shoulders when she stood up in front of him.
“Don’t guilt trip me Eliza.”
Eliza wanted to glare at him with hatred, but being close to him…it was all she had been fueled with coming to Shanghai. Why the long flight was manageable. Thinking about him looking at her, touching her.
She stared at him.
“I missed you.”
He pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
“You did not tell me you were coming.”
“If I had, would it have made a difference? Would I have found you alone?”
“Are you alone in New York? Were you ever alone any of the time that we were together? I have to be celibate while you are open?”
Eliza picked up her purse, and buttoned her blouse. She knew he was right, but she did want him to only be with her. It was awful, but that was what she wanted. Not another woman making Shanghai not their place anymore.
“I said I can go,” she snapped.
Eliza walked past him, saw that she had misbuttoned her blouse and stopped to fix it.
“You’re going to let me go?”
“You said you wanted to go twice. You came here Eliza, you know your own agenda.”
She walked to the door, before her hand was on the knob, she turned to him.
“I know I am wrong, but it is how I feel. Can you imagine how I feel?”
She stared at him.
“And what about me? I was with someone new and you came to Shanghai. Our place. How do you think I feel?
“Look, here is my card. Call me. I know now is not the time, but I am here. I am here…”
Eliza stared at the Shanghai skyline, that was almost as familiar to her as the New York one. Familiar skylines and unfamiliar emotional territory.
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shanghai via fortykay.com